I’m attempting to rethink the story I’ve been telling myself about why I’ve achieved as much as I have and what motivates me. I don’t think it is accurate, and I don’t think it serves me. Can you please give input on the models below?
T: I want to be the best. (and better than others)
F: at first this makes me feel focused and driven, but on the flip side of that I have lots to lose and it is a zero-sum game so I’m constantly evaluating myself and comparing myself to others. I find myself having critical thoughts of others and being resentful of their success
A: Critical/evaluating (but can be white knuckling it through with a drive and focus)
R: I may hold others back with my thoughts, therefore holding myself back
T: I want to be an example of what is possible to myself, to my children, to my students and colleagues (are there other thoughts I can put here that feel somehow more original to me?)
F: focused/confident/nothing to lose
A: get to tasks without distracting thoughts/worries/comparison
celebrate others and others in the world
R: Infinite possibilities!
Every time I want to be the “most” original, “best” student, “best” mom, it seems to come back to the first model. I want to shake that and replace it with more positive thoughts.