Thoughts about husband’s words

I keep making my husband’s words toward me mean something, even though I know it doesn’t serve me and I have other choices with my thinking. I understand the ability for intentional models and practice them, but they are not sticking yet.
For example:

C: Husband says “you shouldn’t feel that way”
T : He doesn’t respect my feelings and always tells me how I should feel or act
F: Angry
A: React to his words by defending myself
R: Tension and disagreement between us

Intentional model:
C: Husband says “you shouldn’t feel that way”
T: it’s ok for him to feel this way and he can be wrong about me, this is just his discomfort speaking
F: unattached, non reactive
A: Let him be himself and hold space for him
R: Acceptance of our differences

Any advice on how to build some traction with this?
Thank you!