Hi, I was hoping I could get coached around my thoughts on my in laws. I am not sure the underlying triggers here. After doing some self coaching I think it’s because I feel like I have a thought “people take advantage of you”. I also think my mother showed me an example of doing things for others but complaining, focusing on the “work” of it, and making herself out to be a martyr. Next week we are hosting our in laws in Rhode Island and I am having all of these thoughts about how we are going to pay for everything, I will be doing all of the work. This is an annual trip and some of these thought I recognize and can let go…like there you are old crappy thought that makes me feel bad. However, I always seem to have this twinge of resistance of showing up as someone who just loves being on vacation with my in laws and gives money and time generously. Can you help me unpack here a bit?

C Vacation with In laws
T This is my husband’s vacation with his family
F Resentful
A look at all of the ways my husband and his family benefit from connection, over exaggerate what I have to do, disconnect, spend time away from them, spin out in my head, judge them, complain
R My don’t enjoy vacation

My intentional model that I would like to get to
C Vacation with in laws
T its not true this is my husbands vacation, its mine too (I know this is two thoughts)
F excited
A Redirect on ways I get to enjoy vacation, show up for me in a way I love, give myself gifts of connection, make an effort to relax on purpose (this is something I can be challenged with) recognize I plan nice things for myself, recognize these choices can be fueled by gratitude and warmth, let go of control and judgement
R I take a vacation from my story and enjoy my time there.