Thoughts about jealousy

I’ve been experiencing lots of jealousy at the growth of some of my friends who are also content creators. I started on Tik Tok a year ago and got to 35,000 followers. I have friends that started 2 weeks ago and are at over 70,000. I have another friend that started a month ago and is at 15,000 when it took me almost 6 months to get there. I’m upset at myself for being jealous. I know I shouldn’t be comparing myself to them if I want the result of growing my audience on my platform, but for the last two weeks this has been something I’ve been wrestling with. I want to be free from my jealousy. While I was self-coaching today, I noticed I have a lot of thoughts about me feeling jealousy.

C- me thinking and feeling in ways that create jealousy
T- I hate that I’m so jealous of other content creators
F- frustrated
A- beast myself up, think something is wrong with me, view myself as a bad person, buffer, not make videos, think I’m a fraud, not do anything that would raise my vibration
R- I lose love and respect for myself

I asked myself why I think jealousy is a problem and this came up: “It holds me back. If I experience jealousy then I am pushing away all the results I want. I shouldn’t be jealous. I’m not supposed to be feeling jealousy. I can’t be happy and jealous at the same time. I can’t reach my dreams and experience jealousy at the same time.”

I just want to get to the point where I’m happy serving my audience and making fun videos again. I don’t want to think about this jealousy stuff anymore, but it feels kind of impossible lately to not compare myself to others.