Thoughts about Money

Thought download on money:
*I need to save for retirement
*I need to save for a house
*I can’t support myself without a steady income stream
*There’s so much I need to buy now that I’ve gotten rid of most my clothes I don’t wear
*I’m not ready to give up money for three large purchases
*It took a long time to build up my savings
*I need to keep my job so I don’t need to recoup my emergency fund again
* I wish I had more money
* I need to stop spending money on cappuccinos
*I hope another stimulus check is sent
* I’m lucky to have an emergency savings fund
*I want to spend money more wisely
* I want to make sure that I get value in return for what I spend money on
* its upsetting that most of my income goes towards rent
* rent shouldn’t be this high
* it’s ridiculous how expensive my medication is without insurance
* luckily my insurance isn’t expensive

I was talking to a coach and it’s interesting how tightly I grip onto money. I loved how the coach said how money flows through our hand when we are not stressed about it. Money flowing to me is more calming and peaceful than gripping onto it and being stressed. So I’d like to produce the feelings calm or peace around money.

I first explored how I got to my current thoughts about money. The first thing I can recall about money is seeing my parents a bit stressed over it and being very careful about what to spend money on. Especially in 2008, when my dad lost his job. I don’t know if he had a lot of money saved or not but he was a lot more stressed about it than prior to losing his job. I also lost my job in the past and was stressed about money. I was stressed since I worried I wouldn’t be able to find a job before my savings ran out or that I’d keep getting let go from jobs in the future. I grip so tight to money that I’ve never personally spent money on taking a vacation to see the ocean.

I don’t want to grip onto money. I want to live a life where I don’t regret not doing something due to thinking I don’t have enough money when I do have it and think it’ll take a long time to recoup the money I spent.

What should I do next to start moving towards a healthy money mindset that produces the feelings calm and peace?