You coached me at the modelthon in January regarding my daughter who is a heroin addict. I appreciated your words so much. It opened up an opportunity that I was not giving myself before; I was able to just hold space when I was with her, without managing, or judging, or controlling. I was just WITH her, getting to know her, even when she was high. We got to the point of spending almost every Saturday together for several hours. She ended up getting caught shoplifting and had charges of possession of illegal substances as well. I did NOT bail her out. She stayed a couple of weeks, then was let out on personal bond and went straight into rehab. It is a long-term program 90+ days. Her boyfriend was bailed out by his parents and he is not entering rehab. So here’s my thoughts – I know I have no control as to whether she stays sober or not when she comes out. In the past her dad and I have let her live with us, we have provided her a car, food, etc. I don’t want to fall back into those enabling patterns. But my brain is already going to the place of “what can I do for her to help her maintain sobriety? ” And it’s coming up with lots of enabling thoughts…..get her a car, an apartment, a job…… What I really want is to say to her when she’s done, that she can stay in sober living or find her own housing, but that she cannot come back with me or her dad, and that we are not supporting her in any way. And then I want to be okay with whatever happens. I’m just having trouble with what thoughts I can entertain that are positive, yet firm and supportive and that have my own back. I tend to turn into Negative Nancy and flirt with doom and gloom and how she’s going to end up on the streets dead. I’m trying to get some more useful thoughts in the forefront. I’m just stuck with this. Any advice?