I have the relationship I want with my mother. I have been honest with her about her people pleasing and that I would really love if she would instead of “sacrifice her” self for me (and my sisters) just do things she wants to. When she doesn’t want to do something, she won’t be honest about it and lies instead. I have a hard time with how she acts, and I am really tired of the lies and the pretending.
Example: Mom calls me and says (exact words) “We have not seen each other for so long and I have not seen Helin (my daughter) for a long time, it has been too long Hanna, we have to see each other this weekend”.
My thought is that she always puts the blame on me, like it´s my fault that we can´t see each other when she’s the one that cancels often and prioritizes others over me. I feel angry and hurt and want her to stop calling me with the same conversation over and over again. It´s like she wants me to feel guilty for something she´s doing.