Thoughts About Son

Hi, I feel like I am in emotional childhood when it comes to my son. I have a ton of thoughts about how he should be acting better. He is often “disrespectful” to me for no reason, for example I will ask him about his homework and he will tell me to get away from him, etc. I want to show up with love but the truth is I really don’t like him sometimes and I feel shame about it. I also feel confusion about what to do as a parent because I know growing up is frustrating and he may not have the right tools to communicate but I still can’t help but judge him and want him to be different. I often shut down when this happens. Any space from my mind would be awesome.