Thoughts About Son

My son has ADHD, and I struggle to hold a clean space for him. The other day he took my older son’s camera without asking (he sneaks on a frequent basis-candy, the iPad, etc.), and after I got the diagnosis, some of that made sense to me. I thought it was about his impulse control issues. I also find it hard to meet him with love and compassion when he sneaks. It’s a part of him that my brain has decided it doesn’t like. When he took my old son’s camera the other day (my older son is 12, he is 11), I raised my voice at him, and I know I created a lot of shame for him, which created a lot of shame for me. I want to be the type of mother who can just ask why he did that. I also have a feeling that if I don’t see the rules, he will think “borrowing” or “taking things without asking” is ok. I feel a ton of social pressure, too, like that is not how good kids behave. My brain then tells me that I am no angel and have no place to judge. I want to love and accept him for who he is and work from there. Any help is appreciated. Thank you!