Hello amazing coach,
Thanks for your response. Here’s where I ended up:
The action I want to take comes out of this month’s work on making your ideas reality. One thing I wrote is that I want to be the most fun person in the room (with the least amount of alcohol).
So the action I want to take is to be fun, and for people to enjoy my company. That is, regardless of how other people are. I just want to be fun, and enjoy myself.
Therefore I can go to Mother’s Day and be the most fun person in the room (with the least amount of alcohol I can do it on!).
Regardless of how my family are.
And I can be myself. That’s totally fine. It’s totally find that they may react to me showing up as myself. (See above, your great comment on that).
The thing is that I can turn up, be great fun, enjoy myself based on my own criteria without any problem or drama [in my head].

So my intentional model based on A would be:
A – turn up to be great fun, the most fun person in the room (on the least amount of alcohol I can manage)
R – I have a great time
C – I go to family events
T – Great I can go and have fun
F – relief! [I can have fun, it’s going to be ok] …. although still feel a little anxiety but much better now
How does that sounds?
And thanks so much.