Thoughts around mother’s day

Hello amazing coaches,
So I have a question around Mother’s Day. Do I have to spend it with my mother?! I love my mother that’s not the problem. I think the problem is that I don’t necessarily want to do what I’m told. I’m starting to feel like I can do what I want, is this a byproduct of being in scholars? I’ve only been here since January and already I’m rebelling??!
So my sister in law has emailed to say they are proposing potluck lunch at theirs, they’ll do lamb, what would I like to bring? I’m not sure that I do want to bring anything. (I like cooking, I like my family but I’m not sure I want to do it).
I think it’s that although I love my close family they are a little bit boring. Feel bad writing that. So I know I’ll go and be polite and nice to everyone but I won’t really feel like I’m being myself. Also, although I love my mother very much I have to be careful what I say and am expected to conform. Challenging her or even gently pointing out that I do not wish to be spoken to like she would has previously caused no end of problems so I generally take the attitude of just loving. Generally I do conform but at some point I get a bit bored of conforming and will say something that I really feel. And then often my comments don’t go down very well. I don’t say anything radical but I would speak my mind.
I’m happy to go and keep the status quo but I’m wondering whether I need to do it? I mean I don’t need to go do I? But what do I say if I don’t want to go?
I suppose in a way I wonder why I think/feel like this. Why can’t I just go along with the invite and be nice? Am I being selfish? Maybe I just don’t want to. And that’s fine too.
Maybe Mother’s Day is not the day to pick to start to examine my brain?
Maybe I should be grateful I have a mother and family near by.
This is a first world problem. I do recognise that. But if you could help me start to sort it out in my head I would be super grateful.
Thanks so much for accepting this thought download!