I am a writer and I have a beautiful workspace which I rent from two acquaintances. It meets all my needs except for the fact that they have to walk through my room to use the bathroom (and also allow their kids to do the same) and I believe that I need complete privacy in order to do my best work.
I’ve been doing lots of models around this circumstance and have uncovered thoughts which lead to feeling annoyed, frustrated, disrespected, and shame (for shame my thoughts are: I should be able to work whatever the circumstance/ if I was really good at what I do I wouldn’t let them distract me/ I’m just using the lack of privacy as an excuse for not being more productive).
When I try to do an intentional model the only thoughts that make me feel good are “I deserve somewhere private” “My need for privacy is valid” “I can take myself and my needs as a writer seriously” etc. which I believe would lead to me looking for a new space.
But when I think of looking for a new space I feel scared – where will I find a place I can afford? What if having privacy doesn’t solve the ‘problem’ of my lack of productivity etc? So in a way, even these thoughts don’t really make me feel good. I’ve also tried accepting what is e.g. “Other people have access to my office” “I share my workspace” “This is the perfect space for me for now and I can move on when I’m ready” etc. but none of these thoughts seem to stick.
I am aware that Brooke says to feel the feeling already of the situation you want to create: So my desired feelings would be: In control, safe, free. I’m not really accessing these feelings in my current situation.
I feel like there are a few elements e.g. my thoughts about the space, my thoughts about my work, my thoughts about my own worthiness and my thoughts about the validity of my needs and I’ve been trying to work them through, but can’t seem to find a result that leads to me being able to just get on with my work regardless of the outer circumstances or to make the decision to find a new place because I believe that that really is the issue – Heeeellllpppp – where do I start?!