Thoughts of “clean this shit up already!!!!!”

I’d like help with thoughts. My Teen daughter invited friends for the night. I want her friends to feel happy and welcome at our home. I’m thinking thoughts of feeling embarrassed about “let’s pile my stuff “ behavior of husband . It leads to thoughts of shame, actions of criticism of him, of me and results of severed relationship . But here is the thing- I don’t want to think thoughts of “it’s okay he wants to collect lots of things and pile them randomly (in my opinion) in family public spaces, I actually just want him to organize and clean his shit up – the way the rest of us do. Really goal I’m wanting… what is next for me to think???? Thank you