Thoughts on current marital situation – please , help to see the light


Hello, coaches – super grateful for this opportunity –
Here are my thoughts

– circumstance – We live in different places – I’m in the city , he is in the Upstate house of ours.

– my husband and I are growing apart – no connection
– he doesn’t miss me or loves me if he did he would not be so angry all the time when he comes to pick me up ( my manual )
– when he is angry, his driving is scary for me, and I don’t want to be in the car with him
– I didn’t get in the car because I set my boundaries and this is one of them
– as a result of me watching my back, I’m not spending time with him and in beautiful nature, he told me not to come at all and I chose not to.
– he is giving me a silent treatment and I’m ok with that
– I don’t feel love towards him
– I want to feel love but struggling to think thoughts
– I’m robbing myself of feeling the love
– I’m thinking of separating
These are thoughts that I have in my brain.

I want to feel connected and understanding and loving, but thoughts like “he is human “, “ I can’t change him “, etc don’t give me relief.

I’m already in my mind – out of this relationship, on with my life, seeking legal advice, fighting over assists. Not a pretty place.

Silver lining –
– I’m by myself and don’t need to sneak out to do my certification course.
– I will use this time to focus on myself and my future
– I don’t need to decide anything right now
– I know I’m 100 percent lovable as I am
– being selfish is a positive thing
– I know that this situation is teaching me something
– it’s ok if I don’t feel love towards him right now, I can always find thoughts when I profess this one.

Maybe I already coached myself ? Lol . Still would love input . Thank you