As I was allowing my urges today, I noticed the thoughts that make me want to eat. They are something like:
You are so useless, you should be busier, you’re wasting your time and your life. You should be doing something productive. Your hair looks ugly. Your skin is a disaster, you need to fix yourself.
C slow day at work
T you are useless, you should be doing something productive! You should be ashamed of yourself.
F Anxious, shame, disgust, panic
A Start thinking of all the ways I need to change myself, and how I’m a terrible disgusting human and I hope nobody ever sees the truth of me, and I better get to fixing things but I don’t know how to fix it…..
R I feel overwhelmed. I definitely feel ashamed, I do nothing productive, and I don’t produce value in the world. I am restless, and I hide. I get the urge to eat food.
I know this is a couple mixed models here. There are different variations that include other mean thoughts about myself. But it seems like overall, it’s:
T: I have to fix myself NOW, nobody can see how disgusting and unlovable I am
F: Restlessness, Shame
A: Urge to eat food
R: I have no idea what my result is. I try to allow the urge and observe the thoughts.
Am I supposed to *do* anything with those thoughts? Like, is it time to change them? Now that I can sort of finally see them?