Tied To My Children’s Behavior

As I’m working through the manual I have for my children and allowing them to behave the way they want while I show up the way I want, I came upon a thought…

When my children behave according to my manual, this is my model:

T-I’m a good mom
A – stay calm, enjoy being a mom, enjoy my kids
R-I’m the mom I want to be

I realize that this is not serving me because I’m making their behavior mean something about my parenting. I definitely struggle with this because I do believe parenting has a part to play in how children develop. (My kids are 6 and 8.)

Can you please help me work through this? I really want to get to a place where I can let them have their behavior and not make it mean anything about me.