Tik Tok Ban and my emotional state

I don’t even know where to begin. I am ANGRY .. I am feeling a lot of hatred and resentment in my heart for Donald Trump and this country right now. I feel so hurt and betrayed. I feel like a dream of mine is being crushed by the paranoia of one man and his party just because the app I love was made by a chinese company.

I have easily spent over hundreds if not at least a thousand hours creating on this app. I’ve changed people’s lives. I’ve built a community that I am helping and serving. I finally got my first brand deal and am actually getting paid every single day to be a content creator. This has been a dream of mine forever, and I finally found a platform I love only for some … agh ASSHOLE to take it away from me. I feel so judgmental and stupid and childish right now, but this app is helping me right now pay some bills and put some food on my damn table. I just moved out of my parents home too.

I have so many thoughts and the one that is on repeat in my head is “I hate Donald Trump. I hate this country. I hate that my freedom is being decided by one arrogant man on a chair. He is ruining the lives of so many creators right now because of his fucking paranoia. So many of us creators are losing INCOME because it’s illegal for him to accept commission on the app being bought out by an American company. I want him to choke on his food. I am so angry.”

I feel completely possessed by emotion at this point. I can’t and don’t want to see the neutrality in this. I want to drink and smoke. I am so hurt. I feel like the very country I work hard in to build my dream is taking away my dream. Where is the free speech?

To be honest .. I don’t even know what to type anymore. I know what the coaches are gonna say “accept what is” .. and I don’t know if I’m ready for that right now. I’m sorry for how irrational this is .. I just don’t know where else to go. If I go to a friend and they tell me “just suck it up” I will blow up on them. I want to crawl into a hole and awaken when all this emotion is processed .. and hopefully find that he backed out from the ban on tik tok.