I just ran a model on myself and my thoughts around time. I’m trying to figure out why I feel so disorganized, unaccomplished and even frantic.
T- I don’t have enough time to accomplish the tasks I’d like to.
F- unfocused, frantic, disorganized
A- dog chasing tail
R- nothing gets done
I mostly feel this way during my baby’s morning nap time. I have 3 kids, two of which are in school MWF, and one at home on those days. My baby’s morning naps are unpredictable. When she goes down for a nap, I pretty much race to get a shower and try to get as many other things done as possible after, which usually is like one or two. I feel like once she is up, I can only focus on her and get nothing else done until after all my kids are in bed at night.
I think the solution is to make a list of all the things I want to get done and then prioritize. I think I also need to WAY lower my expectations. Maybe I just need to aim for the shower. But I make that mean that something is wrong. I am an introvert and really gain so much energy from doing thought work. I feel like my brain is so unorganized. I feel my best when I can check things off a list, but don’t do that very often at this stage in life.
I know I am creating this drama and should just drop it. Not sure why I want to hold on to it. It makes me feel disappointed in my self and feel like I’m letting others down too.