I’ve been working on a recurring thought that I think is probably tied to a deeper belief system about time, productivity, value etc. The thought is “I don’t know what I should be doing”. It comes up when I give myself time to work on my business, but also when I have a large block of unplanned time in general.

C- A day devoted to my business
T- I don’t know what I should be doing
F- unfocused/foggy
A – buffer with the internet, food, pot, do lots of cleaning projects, procrastinate, don’t decide on what to do, think there’s some “right” thing to be doing that I don’t know about, spin in anxiety, shame myself for being a bad business owner, compare myself to others who seem to be doing it better or just “get it”, don’t have any fun, spend a lot of time of planning and coaching myself, not on actually doing anything
R – I don’t do anything in my business and I don’t enjoy my business

I can see that the thought is probably protecting me from feeling shame, if I were to decide and go after something only to decide it was the “wrong” thing to have done. Which I know only I could decide. Or if I was received very poorly. Which I have nothing to do with people’s thoughts about me. And I know intellectually shame is just a feeling.

I know its just a thought but it feels true in the way a belief does. I’m not totally sure what I want in my business, I don’t have any big goals that I’m excited by and there’s a lot of shame in the way I do business.

Where do I go from here?