Time shame

I’ve been recognizing that I have a lot of shame around time, especially when I have free time. A recurring thought is “I’m wasting my time” or “I’m not going to make the most of my time”. I feel shame; I buffer, procrastinate, jump from one thing to another and never complete anything , result is I prove the thought true.

Today I had the option of not attending the farmers market Where I have a booth because of an extreme wind advisory. I chose to not attend and I like my reasons (my products are sensitive to the elements, my stock is low so I wouldn’t be selling that much anyway, and I could use the time to get some back work done like photos, inventory, planning.)

So now it’s the morning of the market, it’s only kind of windy, I feel shame that I didn’t attend. The thought is “I’m copping out of my business”. And now I’m spinning in indecision about how to use this Time. Creating more shame. Even the “back work” I mentioned is really vague and I don’t feel totally passionate and committed to my business as it currently looks. I want to feel excited and clear about how to work in my business but I don’t.

How can I approach this?