My husband has a manual for me that includes the fact that, when I write the rent check for him to take to the bank, I should also fill out the deposit slip for him. I don’t want to do that. I supply the money, I want him to do the walking (or as my college friends used to say, You fly, I’ll buy!). So, we both have manuals for each other; I get that. But in just considering his expectation of me, what is my end goal? To fill out the slip out of unconditional love? To want to fill it out as an act of love towards him? To be okay sitting with his annoyance when I fail to fill it out?
C. I write a check. I do not fill out the deposit slip. I write deposit slip info on a sticky note for him. While I’m eating breakfast, he sees the check and the sticky note and says, under his breath, “can’t you just fill out the deposit slip?”
I do not respond.
T. I’m ignoring this bc I don’t have to do everything.
F. Calm (…but then I felt annoyed and then guilty….I know I have to choose one)
A. Act like I didn’t hear him. Don’t respond. Ruminate about why I felt good about it and then negative. Submit to Ask Coach.