To forgive my past-self

I loved Brooke’s Loose 8lbs in June call where she explains the relationship we want to build with our past self and our future self. I would love to have such a loving relationship like she describes it, but in my thought download this morning, it was full of negative thoughts. Thoughts that beat me up and this thought came out of nowhere “I need to forgive my past self for her actions and in-actions.”

Right after thinking this thought the waterfall of negative thoughts continued. I can’t even really pin down what I am feeling when I think that thought. A lot of resistance comes up and what actually happens is the complete opposite, more beating up instead of forgiveness.

I tried to make a model but I need some help please.

C = my life as it is now
T = I need to forgive my past-self for her actions and inaction
F = resistance
A what I do = waterfall of more negative thoughts, thinking about how would I even actively forgive myself, thinking about why I am so resistant to the thought of ‘forgiving my past-self’, I judge my past-self and beat my present self up, I get sidetracked and even actively search for something pressing that needs to be done to get away from this model, running away from myself, I am asking for help in scholars 🙂
A what I don’t do = forgive my past-self, I don’t stay focused on figuring it out, I am not becoming quiet
R = ?? I need to forgive my present-self