To Stay Put or to Move?


I live in a city that I love. More than love, in fact. Since 1997, I’ve thought of this city (let’s call it Place A) as my soulmate – and in 2010 I finally was able to move here. Yay! And I have assumed until very recently that I would always want to keep on living here.

We’re due to get our house beautifully renovated next year, but suddenly I’m having thoughts I hadn’t expected, like: wouldn’t it be a huge adventure to move to a very different place, Place B? I am happy in Place A and know I could be happy in Place B too – because my thoughts create my feelings. I also (by sheer luck) have a talent for being really happy.

Happiness and joy are kinda my default settings…which makes the choice harder. So, I’m trying to work out which I want more.

And one thing that’s confusing the issue is this: part of my reason for wanting to move to Place B is that I’ve lived in Place A for 12 years now, and there’s a lot of my past there – painful memories as well as good ones. For example, at least seven people I dislike and who dislike me also live in Place A – people who’ve behaved really terribly to me (a T that I’m keeping!) and I occasionally bump into these people. Of course, I can still be happy living in Place A – but I keep having the thought: I’m living in my past, surrounded by people from my past.

I love the idea of a completely fresh start in a new place – and obviously I could come back and visit my many friends and loved ones in Place A… So: a fresh new start, an exciting new adventure – these are thoughts that I love, *but*…I also suspect I’m wanting to move partly to separate myself from visual reminders of emotional pain. Is there a running-away energy to my desire to move? I don’t *think* I’m trying to outrun emotional pain because I’ve meticulously inspected, analysed, felt and processed the pain.

How can I tell if T: “I want to move to a new, exciting place and start a new phase of my life” is truly driven by desire to escape or by desire for fun new adventure? Thank you!