todays coaching


hey there
I had an awesome coaching session with kari again! she’s soo good!

I just have a few question.
we agreed that I learn to think the thought “I’m in control” when the doubts and negative story pops up.
as I don’t believe that yet.
I asked myself: how would someone think and act that would be in control of these thoughts. this is what came out:
they would think from a place of confidence and abundance that these are just thoughts.
they wouldn’t take them seriously.
they would laugh at them.
they would think things like: here we go again. this is just my crazy brain trying to warn me that something is wrong.

do you have any other thoughts I can practice?
because i want to be prepared for my next moment of doubt which at the moment looks like this:

c: being in a relationship with my boyfriend
t: we have a dark deep secret that we are not 100% in love with him
f: feeling nervous and anxious (out of control)
a: wanting to tell someone about it. break up. being distracted by the thoughts. always thinking about it.
r: me and my thoughts circling around being stuck

what could my model look like for the next day when i have this shitstorm coming?
c: having the thought: we have a dark deep secret that we are not 100% in love with him
t:
f: indifferent
a: not making it mean something. laughing about it.
r: me being in control
kari also helped me notice that i still have the belief that when my bf does something i should feel love, joy etc. and when i don’t automaticly feel that my brain begins to feed me with thoughts like: i told you he’s not the right one. we are in the wrong relationship. he’s not enough. we have to find the right one. it’s just not right.
and then i act totally distant and like he’s just a nice guy but not more.
so for this model i would do that:

c: my bf writes me thank you for being such a good girlfriend
t: why don’t i feel how i should / want feel??
f: anxious, sad
a: beating myself up for it. question the whole relationship. looking for more negative thoughts about him.
r: me being stuck in a never ending circle

c: my bf writes me thank you for being such a good girlfriend and havin the thought “why don’t i feel how i should/Want feel”?
t: it’s totally up to me to feel what i want to feel
f: in control
a: choosing love and joy. having a good time with him
r: me creating a wonderful relationship

would love to hear your thoughts on this. How can I approve my next moment of doubt without reacting to it like i did before?