Todays model


I had this idea to create a model everyday and send it in to here to make sure I’m doing it right. I then had a really limiting thought.. well I shouldn’t, they’re probably pretty busy and I don’t want to bother them….

Haha can you believe that? I don’t want to be mean to myself and say what a dumb thought so I’ll say what an interesting view point, have you seen any evidence that they don’t want me to ask questions in any way?

Anyway, today’s model is about my thoughts around an interaction with my gf. We’re coming off a disagreement yesterday where I lost my mind, forgot everything I’ve learned about model and wasn’t compassionate to some anxieties she’s been having.

Today I’m sensitive to her needs though I sense she’s still hurting and when she’s like this she’s pretty reserved and closed off. In the past when we’ve done this, it takes a few days for things to settle down.

Today’s model is based on the interaction I had a little while ago

UM
C : Gf gave me short answers (one word) when I asked how things were
T : She’s mad at me
F: Hurt
A: Withdraw
R: Distance between us, old thoughts of this not working out start surfacing

IM
C : Gf gave me short answers (one word) when I asked how things were
T : She’s likely still hurting and scared
F: Empathy / compassion
A: ????
R: Loving connection, we’re closer

The ???? is where i’m struggling. She’s hurt and needs time to heal. She does not want promises how I’m going to make things better, she’s heard enough of that and needs to see it for real. If I ask is there anything I can do she’ll answer No and that’ll be the answer to everything I ask in terms of helping her.

In my mind, I’m sort of like Ok, I’ll just do my thing and wait for you to feel better. I’m pretty much already over it and don’t want to waste my time feeling bad more than I have to or need to. We made some mistakes and lets not waste our life feeling mopey and sad. There is some frustration that we have to do this and my brain starts to spin on if I want to do this for the rest of my life or will she ever figure this out.

And as far as action, I’m happy to go off and find something else to do.

Some suggestions please.

thank you