Toddler crying


Hi Brooke!
I am the person who posted about “Falling back into old patterns when tired” a couple of days ago. Thank you very much for your insights.
I have committed to going to bed earlier this week (I was choosing to do other things in late evening) and it is helping with my energy for sure.
However, I’ve been having difficulties being present and patient with my 2 children (2 and 5) in the morning this week. My husband is away this week so I need to prepare myself and them, then walk them to daycare/school, and my 2-year-old has been expressing a need to be carried all the time as I do so, which I can’t. So he cries and cries until I do, and I am choosing to find this stressful and draining 🙂 but having trouble changing my thoughts about it.

Here are my models on this.

C: Alone with kids on a school morning, toddler cries as soon as I put him down.
T: I need to prepare things so we can leave for daycare/school in time. We are on a tight schedule, I don’t have time to snuggle or breastfeed him. His needs are bottomless (<– is this my poisonous thought?).
F: Stressed, drained, annoyed.
A: Explain the situation to him, then let him cry and cling to my legs as I rush to prepare myself and their stuff. Disconnect, try to breathe and tune out the crying. When all is ready, take 5 minutes to breastfeed him before we leave.
R: Nobody has a good time. Feel regretful/disconnected when I think back on it during the day.

C: Alone with kids on a school morning, toddler cries as soon as I put him down.
T: He needs attention/affection and he is the only judge of that. I am very connected to my kids’ needs and will attend to them to the best of my possibilities. I am a great mother.
F: Calm, caring.
A: Set alarm clock 10 minutes earlier to carve out time for snuggling. When time is up and we need to go, if still needy, explain the situation with confidence and affection, prepare stuff and leave house.
R: Spend better-quality time with children, start the day on a calm note.

The second model is better but A) I’m not sure it’s worth trading 10 minutes of sleep for 10 minutes of snuggling, B) I don’t know that these 10 minutes will be “enough” for him, and C) the stress from the crying feels like a physical reaction so it’s still hard for me to believe that changing my thought about it will make it less stressful. Based on your teachings I understand it intellectually, but will need to practice it for sure.

What do you think of my models? Do I need bridging thoughts, or alternative ones?

Thanks a million!