Tolerating messes


I notice that when I come home from work on a weekend, the kitchen is a mess from the kids being home all day. There are usually crumbs or spills on the counter, some things left out etc. The chaos and mess bothers me. I usually wind up eating, even though I am not hungry. I think this is buffering to feel better because the mess stresses me out.

After being in scholars, I realize that the condition of the kitchen is a neutral circumstance; my thoughts about it are what create my feelings.

Here is my model:

C: Spills and things out of place in the kitchen
T: Ugh I can’t handle this mess. I want to come home and relax and I have to deal with this.
F: Stressed
A: Eat to feel better, usually wind up cleaning it up if kids are not around
R: I am not honoring myself because I eat when I am not hungry, reinforce that this is a threat

Can you help me with new ways to think about this so I am in a more empowered place?