Too Busy Fixing People


I’m noticing that when I interact with people, I’m so focused on trying to help them solve or fix their problems that I don’t talk about much else. People may need to be heard, but I want to teach them LCS tools without their consent and not just listen. As I write, I see that listening is one of the most powerful LCS tools. My husband was talking to me about how bad he feels that his parents didn’t ride with him in the car on a road trip we are currently on.

He was repeating himself, and I told him you are stuck in your mind. “You need to drop in your body and feel the emotion,” and I asked him where it is warm or cold. He got angry and told me that’s why people don’t like me. “You are always trying to show them you know better and can help them even when they don’t ask for your help.”

My daughter was also in the car, and she agreed with my husband. They both said my intentions were good, but it came off wrong. My daughter said most of the time I’m being condescending, and she has expressed multiple times how she doesn’t like this. Lately, she hides things from me and tells her friends she can’t come to me for anything.

I started defending myself then stopped. I’ve become quiet now and have been crying for the last two hours, and our vacation has just begun.

I see the truth to what they are saying. I no longer want to engage in conversations that focus on the problems someone has where I end up trying to fix them.

How do I stop this?