Too Eager

This is my 8th month in Scholars.
It was a dark and stormy day, and there I was crossing the river of misery in my little boat. As I row, making my way thru the dank atmosphere, I see of my guide approaching in her own boat. We will only have a moment. (20 minutes!) I am in a row boat, my back facing where I am going, she is in a sail boat, facing her direction of travel. She slows down as she passes, offering insight on navigation, and patience. Then she sails on. Her boat is beautiful in the wind, illuminated by a shaft of sunlight that slips thru the clouds. The wind and the boat and the water are one, the colors glimmering like butterfly wings, the light refracting and bending so you can see that the boat, the sky, and the water, are all one thing.
I am determined to catch up ! I decide all I have to do is row harder ! This of course, does not work. I row hard; and only succeed in covering my palms with blisters.
I am still carried by currents I do not fully understand. I have a compass, (the model) and I have my own strength.
How do I not try so hard?