Too evolved past my boyfriend


I have a thought error that I am too evolved past my boyfriend.

We have dated for two years, I was one person when we met, and have gone through/am now on my third identity crisis since we met, like I am now the “third version” of me since we met.

I’ve joined scholars, lost 80 pounds, significantly changed my business, I have lots of reasons we are no longer compatible like we were in the beginning. (A sentence I recognize I say as if I’m reporting the news, a “fact” that we aren’t compatible)

Other thought errors:
– I’m too evolved and he can no longer keep up with what I say/talk about. The things and concepts I bring up in regular conversations with him are too advanced for him and he is always confused by/never knows what I’m talking about.
-I feel like I have to dumb myself down in order to relate to him. Jumping in the pool usually but also severe emotional childhood habits are usually the theme of our conversations.
– It’s hard to feel connected to him because he’s in emotional childhood and I’m trying so hard to be an emotional adult, he thinks I’m rude and harsh when I use direct communication instead of indirect (his preferred flavor), or attempt to explain that I’m not mad or irritated because of something he did, more of less trying to explain in his terms that he’s just my c and I’m just having t’s and it’s my responsibility and just needs to let me take care of myself

I’m not sure what I even want our relationship to look like thinking into the future. I can’t help but be afraid thinking of evolving any more, it seems like the more I evolve as a person, the farther apart we are. I feel very disconnected (of course, I mean read the story, it makes sense why I feel disconnected) and would like to feel connected to him.

How can I start working on pulling apart this story and create a relationship that’s connected, regardless of who I am and who he is (or who I think he is)?