Too little sex and now too much with my husband. How to navigate his feeling rejected with my autonomy over my body


Me and my husband have been together for 12 years. At first we had sex very regularly but after about 2years this diminished. It varies from year to year but some years we have sex maybe twice in the whole year others will be atleast once a month. It’s very variable.
Recently I’ve been working on my relationship and I did want more intimacy. Now my husband does want to have sex more but I feel like he’s bothering me for it too often. I was hoping twice a month would be enough but he wants more.
He has previously communicated with me that the reason he hadn’t initiated sex often over the previous years was because I would reject his advances when he wanted it more to the point where he didn’t even want to initiate anymore. He effectively felt rejected.
I’m not sure what to make of this because I do want more intimacy but I feel like I should be able to say no if I’m not in the mood. At the same time I want to be a good wife and be able to satisfy my husband.
I can’t figure the thought work out between all that.
Hes fine if I say no but I’ve said no 2 nights in a row now so I feel obliged to say yes tonight.
What can I do to feel my own autonomy but find a balance with his needs too?