Too many different feelings

Hello, I have a lot of different feelings about my husband and am not sure where I want to settle with things right now.

C: mind thinks it can’t stand husband (his current behavior in divorce) and also feels love and longing of wishing to get back together with him – wishing for positive relationship with him
T: My thoughts are all messed up around my husband.
F: confused (anger, pain, hurt, sad, love)
A: ??? Not sure how I want to act around him – sometimes I have the urge to be kind, loving and gentle, then just want to have him disappear.
R: I haven’t come to clarity about my husband.

At the same time, I’m not sure there is just one feeling that seems appropriate to feel. It seems appropriate to have all of these feelings, I’m just not sure what to do about them – what action to take.

My ideas:

Take a self-loving action (just focus on myself – sometimes I can do this, other times not so much)

I tell myself I don’t have to decide right now how I feel about him for always.

Tell myself that it’s okay for me to feel angry at him at one minute, loving another, and sad another.

I’m not sure if that would work well or not.