Tootsie-roll center


I am active and committed to SO Eating and SO Drinking. I have had bumps in the road but feel I am making progress and am learning from all of my experiences. I weighed myself yesterday and was down 10 lbs. from 10-14 days prior. YAY! I honored my eating plan at lunch with friends, went shopping with my daughter for spring break clothes and all seemed good. Then I got a call from my mom’s doctor who performed a procedure on her yesterday. She is fine & the procedure a success. The “problem” was in the communication with my sister about the news. She and I haven’t spoken except via text/email over very factual things. I relayed the results to here via text and then sent a few more texts almost making excuses for why the doctor called me and not her to relay the news. I noticed feeling odd about this but went to dinner with my family where I ate OFF plan, drank OFF plan and awoke at 3am to a crazy flood of thoughts and feelings. Scribbled a bunch of models (C-MD called, T- sister will be upset that he called me and not her, F-anxiety, unworthy, A- apologetic texts, R-feeling unworthy and anxious; C-my sister, T-I don’t want her to dislike me, F-betrayed, A- sending weird texts, R-feeling betrayed by myself). I went to sleep and awoke again but this time to what I think is the Tootsie-Roll Center of my Tootsie Pop Life/ Kung Fu Panda moment…I am the tootsie roll center! I am the secret ingredient! It all starts with me and it always has. So my new belief and new model that I am embracing is T- I am learning to honor myself, F- awesomeness, love, compassion, importance, A- honoring my food and drink plans, my decisions and my life, R- being the best version of myself in every moment that I am here. My mind has been blown…just like you said it would be. You are amazing. Thank you for showing me the path. I am so along for this journey.