Toxic Person question

Hi! I’m thinking about an in-law and have listened to your podcast #75 on toxic people. This person has told me they like making people uncomfortable by putting them down, and has made less than nice comments to me, seemingly directed to evoke a response. Thus I think of them as toxic, or as an emotional predator, and I am on guard when around them. I love the model and it has helped me learn that I no one can hurt my feelings without my permission. So if a friend says something seemingly hurtful, I can do a model on it, and look at what I am making their statement mean, etc, and own my emotional response to my thoughts and to what was said. But when this relative is intentionally lashing out—I think they are toxic and poisonous, just as a poisonous spider that goes and bites and poisons, in order to devour. Please help me clear up my understanding around your statement : “there is no such thing as a toxic person”.