Tried to coach myself through and argument


I am struggling with how I could have handled an argument with my husband last week. We were driving in the car taking my teenage son to meet his friends at the mall (I was in the backseat listening your podcast with my headphones on) and we took a wrong turn. I yelled (bc of headphones) “where are we going?!” which my husband did NOT appreciate. He was angry and thought my comment was rude. He demanded that I apologize.

This made me defensive and angry. I probably should have just apologized in hindsight, but to me apologizing was accepting that I intended to be rude. I said that I was sorry he was annoyed by my comment but it was not my intention to be rude. That he was making my comment mean that I didn’t appreciate him driving our son to the mall…But, he felt that wasn’t sincere or owning my part.

I know this is so silly and we really don’t usually argue. I understand how his thoughts were making him angry about the comment, but he wasn’t going to see that. I also know I am not in control of what he sees or thinks. When he makes comments about my driving I just ignore them. They are meaningless to me. But obviously not to him. Lesson learned.

How could I have handled this better? Been more loving in the moment and realized he needed a “real” apology from me and just moved on? I think it was important to me that he understand I didn’t intend to offend him and that was what was important.

Thank you for your insight. I’m loving Scholars – this is my first month and I am inhaling the content. Obsessed.