Triggered by mom’s negativity

My mom is very negative. She stopped by in the middle of the day and I was still in my pajamas (I work from home.) She said, “Don’t you get dressed to work?” I just answered that I do sometimes. I wish I would have said something like, “Isn’t it awesome that I can work in my pajamas if I want to.” Growing up, appearance was always very important to her, and I feel like I never made her proud of me and obviously still don’t.

She also often comments that all I ever do is work. I know she thinks I don’t spend enough time with my kids, but I do, she’s just not aware of it and for some reason wants to assume the worst.

Anyway, all that to say, I’m often triggered by her negativity, so much so that I avoid talking to her very often. I know she doesn’t cause my feelings, that my thoughts do. I just want her to be proud of me. How do I not care what she thinks? And how do you handle someone who is negative and constantly brings you down? Isn’t it normal to want to be loved and accepted by your mother?