Triggering FAMILY

HI, I have started to notice that a lot of my triggers is from me not accepting what my family says to me and how they act. I know it’s my thoughts that give me the feeling or frustration or disrespect not their actual actions. I think the thought I am struggling with is a generalized sense of they shouldn’t be that way.

For example, my son has basketball this morning and he told me he was mad at me and it was my fault he had basketball. If I had the thought this is totally normal and has nothing to do with me I think I would be more peaceful but I had the thought he shouldn’t have said this to me how is it my fault.

I also notice when my boys are super loud in the house, I feel anxious and want to escape/eat over it. I also have thoughts about how my husband shouldn’t work all weekend, but again it think it is tied to this generalized umbrella of things shouldn’t be this way. Any help is appreciated.