Triggers then urges, both stealing my sobriety


My goal is to be sober and to me this looks like not using alcohol at all but also not using food or any other source to “cope” or numb.

Yesterday I was triggered and the urges went bananas. I’m not sure if I was white knuckling but for 6 hours I literally fought an urge. I felt like an animal. . . This made me so angry and the anger grew as the urge became worse. I gave in to my urge late at night which has left me with regret and disappointment. “How could I have gone so long to just give up!” I guess the small victory is I only had one drink (Meh, but I still broke my streak.)

My quest for help is in this place of the urge. Maybe I’m forgetting the most valuable tool? I tried thinking differently, I did yoga- which helped momentarily. I dont know how to practice this without being in this space. Any suggestions? I’m desperate to learn how to feel or be in an uncomfortable emotion. I want to learn how to do this in a healthy way. I’ve been on this quest for years 🙁