I wanted to follow up on some coaching that I just did around a trip I am taking with my husband. I am nervous it’s not going to go well. The coach very accurately pointed out I am already living it’s not going well by the thoughts I am having. I am having all of these thoughts that since I want to hike and he wants to play tennis that we are either going to fight or not spend any time together. I can see when I am writing this how this is very either/or. Here is the model I want to live into
C: 3 day vacation with husband
T: I choose love
A: let him do his own thing, I can get to do my own thing, he can have negative emotion, I can have negative emotion, I can have positive emotions, he can have positive emotions, I allow things to unfold for him without having to fix it, I allow things that I enjoy, I can create connection whenever I want to
R: I love the trip I have created for us
Basically I want to allow for us not to have to do the same things while not giving up what I want to do in order to appease him. I also want to love him through him having his own ideas about what he wants to do without making it mean anything about me.