Trouble Shifting A Thought


I’m having trouble shifting from an unintentional to an intentional thought with this situation. I was in DC in a bookstore this weekend and it was close quarters and very busy. There was a tall black man standing in the section I wanted to look so I stood next to him and then he shifted behind me, bumping into my back as a I was still looking. Something felt wrong and I shifted to the side only to see his pants were open and his penis was out in his boxer shorts. I told my friend, but by that time he had covered his pants with his shirt, but was still staring at me.

Then he kept watching me as I got the hell out of there. By that time he had tucked everything back in. I’m having trouble shifting this model. The thought I had was that he was inappropriate and violated me and I felt a sense of disgust and shame. I shut down as the result and just wanted to leave, but I felt icky and low vibe the rest of the day. Then when I was taking the train home, a black man sat down next to me and I felt uncomfortable. This is unusual for me. How do I shift my thought here? I can’t forgive him and thinking that he was a creep doesn’t make me feel better because I felt violated. Part of me feels like I could ignore this or let it go, but as a woman I should be incensed. Interesting how my brain is thinking here. Nothing I think makes me feel better about this because it was “done to me”. Would love some clarity on how to shift my thinking. Thanks.