Troubled thoughts about old boss.

I’m having trouble shaking some unsavoury thought about my last boss and how they ran their business. The problem is I feel inconsistent and bad about what I think/say about the them and their business and how I feel about them as a person.
They are super generous, wonderful and for the most part a great boss and we worked really well together and grew the business a lot together and actually became fairly good friends during the process.. It was rewarding and challenging work and for that I am grateful. The problem is I saw so much inconsistency with their wants for the business and their actions that it drove me crazy. I know they’re human, it’s their business but I couldn’t help but thinking that the business could do as great as they wanted it to and better if they stopped the hypocrisy.
while I was there I worked with them to create a lot of plans and road maps to help build consistency in the business and it worked on a lot of levels but on some they would make a pile of excuses for why we couldn’t do certain things or why the road maps wouldn’t work because ‘no one would follow them’ (read: they weren’t interested in following them.).. I always felt like there were things that we couldn’t afford NOT to grow into, implement, change etc and they would constantly disagree. Then they’d complain they didn’t have any time, yet refused to hire or train more staff because we didn’t have any money, but then would spend money on a bunch of little cosmetic things we really didn’t need. They’d say we were ‘truly this type of company’ but then bring in products that didn’t fit that model because they ‘wanted to get customers’. When I would mention what the customers were wanting they would turn around and say ‘no one would buy that’ when I would argue it was our regulars they’d still persist that we ‘couldn’t do that’ and then complain that ‘we weren’t making enough money’, rinse repeat.

for all that chatter they did take very big risks and the company grew but these things seemed to remain the same.

I’ve tried some models but they haven’t helped. I end up right back to where I started. I want to see the hard working, generous person they are and not everything the COULD be do to make their business better. Which would makes their complains go away and they could be living the life they want to live instead of the live they are living.
I ended up leaving the company for other reasons but I would be lying if I didn’t say I was a little relieved to not have to pushing up against that anymore. It’s been a while since I’ve worked with them, we’re still in contact and I want be able to feel love and respect for them first and leave all the rest, but obviously am having a hard time. I also feel guilty about continuing to focus on these things and not the other memories we have together.

Another question on the same note: what is a good way of handling listening to the same complains that people have? How does one sit and listen and not just want to be like ‘Umm, maybe you should change that then, cause this comes up A LOT.’

Thank so much in advance for your insight.