True Self vs Choosing Thoughts


I am a technical trainer. When I see my coworkers receive accolades from customers and from management for their accomplishments, my thoughts are: “I ended up in technology because of the money. I don’t really belong here like these people do. I don’t have an aptitude for technology.” Then I realize that this is a thought that is not serving me.

C: Coworkers receive recognition.
T: They are better than me. I don’t belong here like they do.
F: Dissatisfaction with my performance.
A: Disengagement from work.
R: No improvement in performance.

So I replace this thought with a new thought.

C: Coworkers receive recognition.
T: They are better than me. Being the best does not matter. I am ok at my job. I create value for my customers.
F: Satisfation with my performance and with the world.
A: No motivation to do better.
R: No improvement in performance.

Then I came up with this thought.

C: Coworkers receive recognition.
T: Because I don’t have the same passion for technology that they do I am better able to empathize with customers who are struggling with technology. I am better able to make them understand it.
F: Desire to make technology more accessible to customers.
A: More effort in making technology accessible.
R: More satisfied customers.

Here is the thing. In all my models the idea that I am not good at technology is fixed. I am treating it as a circumstance. It is just that I don’t know how to flip this thought around.

If I choose the thought, “I am good at technology” or “I enjoy technology”, this feels false to me. I feel like I am not being true to myself.

When I say “I am not good at technology” am I being true to myself? Or am I choosing a thought? Could I choose thoughts to flip around my relationship with technology? What would those thoughts be?