Trust issues


Hi Brooke!
I’ve thoroughly enjoyed listening to your podcasts and have learned a lot so far. I am having a harder time applying the concepts in my life and even finding time to actively work on thought downloads and learning how to use the model.
I do have a question and want to get your thoughts/opinion/advice on my marriage. Ive only been married for about 2 years and I love my husband. However, I feel its been somewhat a difficult time adjusting to each other’s daily habits, likes/dislikes and living together which was different from our long distance relationship dating. Things are great and happy at times, however at times things can get so bad that I consider leaving the relationship because we are miserable together. A lot of it obviously has to do with our thoughts and behaviors. The thing I cannot stand the most are his lies. Whether its small lies or big ones. And it has caused me to constantly have trust issues and question him about details even for minor things. I wish I did not care about small things or details but I cannot help but ask him. He’s also hidden things such as watching porn or downloading dating apps because he was just “curious”. I do believe him when he says he has never cheated and I know he would not, but I cannot help fixate on the things he has done and get past them at times. It has also made me lose respect for him. I know he loses respect for me probably when i ask him so many questions.

I feel like we’re stuck in this ridiculous rut. I know we can have an amazing life together, if we can learn to be more mature and have more trust and respect. What are your thoughts. Are my trust issues and loss of respect just my own thoughts based on his actions, and something I can fix?
Thank you!