Trusting My Future Self

I’ve been a professional fitness instructor, dance instructor, and choreographer for a number of years and have been with the same organization for 3 years. I decided 2 years ago to decrease and eventually eliminate earning through physical demand on my body and earn through my coaching business as well as through a leadership position I created at my workplace. I have a history of recurring injuries, which primarily affected my decision (a decision that I am at peace with and look forward to implementing more). My last injury was in the winter of 2020 and I am still undergoing treatment for that.

I work within education and the school year completes in a couple of weeks. I had a powerful one-to-one session last week and the upshot was working with the new belief “I guarantee earning income through my coaching business.” I am a solopreneur as well as an employee, so I still have employee-like thinking.

Enter my friend, a fellow choreographer and dance teacher. She presented me with a work opportunity to choreograph and star in a high-energy music video. The kind of work that puts my body at most risk of injury. It’s also a low-budget production so the earnings would only cover a portion of my expenses for the month. When I ask myself, “Would future me earning $101K do this job?” I get a clear and resounding NO in my body.

However…isn’t it prudent to secure money that comes my way in the meantime so that’s less worrying about money to do later on? Isnt’ some money better than no money? I could also make requests to the production like since I’m choreographing the thing I would only choreograph movements that gel with where my body’s at now. I could also request more money. But, then there’s the toil on re-shoots for a 4-hour film shoot and I don’t want to put my body through that. And when I keep checking with Future Me she’s like, “Why are we putting this kind of energy to make an underearning situation work? I’m still a no.” On top of that, I’d be breaking the commitment to myself to stop earning through work that utilizes my body in this way.

I want to turn down the job. When I think this thought I feel powerful. I don’t want to engage in any discussions about trying to make this work. I don’t want to make this work. I don’t want to spend any time or energy on this project. I want to receive coaching and consulting income opportunities with offers that I think and therefore feel are abundant that don’t require me to use my body to earn that income.

With so much clarity, I’m still afraid to trust future me. Feedback please.