I’ve fallen into a hole lately of feeling strong resentment to my partner. He travels for work and as a mum to 2 busy boys, a toddler and tween (11yr old), and trying to establish my new business while juggling a full time contract (which I do love). I’m envious of his ability to walk out the door whenever he pleases without asking or telling anyone. I’m envious of his freedom to do whatever he pleases.
I KNOW these thoughts and feelings aren’t serving me, and I run every part of our household apart from the cooking of which he is amazing.
I love him and I know we will get through this, but I’m having a hard time reconciling the feeling of doing everything and him not stepping up or asking how he can help when he is around.
I realise the feeling is caused by my thought loops getting stronger over and over. I also feel like if I talk to lovely mum friends about it, it’s just a pity party “poor us” and “you shouldn’t let him go/do this/do that” so I don’t get involved in this anymore as it’s not a tit-for-tat thing.
Today for example he’s had 7 days away for work, a 3 day cricket weekend bender with his friends away and is now sick in bed! So I can’t possibly fathom working from my office down the hall all day while he does nothing.
I’m over the stage of wanting my mum and everyone else to “agree” with me, and join my pity party. It sucks, and it’s hampering me in every facet of my daily life.
What can you suggest to listen to and work through with this?