Trying to avoid making actions my new thoughts

I am finding I keep making goal actions as my new thoughts to practice- instead of a new thought about myself. Not sure if I’m even doing this right but here’s the UM & IM:

C: partner
T: He’s not giving me enough attention
F: anxiety
A: check my phone a lot, look for the negative, assume he’s going to cancel on me, not give my love in fear of coming on strong
R: Don’t see the ways he IS giving me attention, seek attention outside myself to feel validated

C: partner
T: he doesn’t need to prove his love for me, he is just there for me to love him ( I want to think this but is it working off the goal action too much?)
F: calm
A: show love freely to him, be myself
R: Feel love