Since school started 2 weeks ago, I have been trying to find a way to sustainably carve out consistent time for myself and accomplish goals. It hasn’t been going well. I am constantly interrupted which puts me in a perpetual state of transition. It’s hard for me to switch focus from doing things for others to doing things for myself. So I tend to stay in the space of doing things for others until everyone is settled down for the day or before everyone gets up and interrupts me or needs me. But that leaves time for me either late at night or early in the morning. Both of these times of time have their challenges and are not ideal. I really want to be able to do what I was doing before, which was being on my own schedule instead of everyone else’s.
I worked on a model this morning (the first one in a while).
C – got up today at 5 am by alarm clock
T – I hate this and shouldn’t have to wake up by alarm clock
F – Forced
A – Lay in bed for 5 minutes after alarm goes off. Tell myself this sucks and getting up this early isn’t sustainable. Don’t relax and enjoy the time because I feel like I’m on a deadline and/or I’ll get interrupted. Write about all the negative things happening . Have trouble thinking straight and constantly think about what I can’t do rather than what I can do.
R – I don’t fully give myself the time I need/want because I’m ruminating about the past and upset about the potential future.