Trying to identify feeling

Hi, I’ve determined that I have the thought “money is meant to be spent”. I’m trying to identify the feeling, but can’t find the right one. The closest I’ve found is “incompetent”, but I don’t think I completely mismanage my money.

Here’s my model so far:
C – money
T – money is meant to be spent
F –
A – bought house, truck, life coaching certification, traveled to 13 countries, won the lottery, earn $80-90k/year
R – net worth: -$150k