trying to unlove someone I feel like I love a lot

so I love a man
who I have been very much trying not to love.

I have good reasons for this and still I want and yearn for him, sadly most days.

I am with a new partner whom I have tried to feel passionately in love with for 18 months now. I feel he is better for me, loves me so completely and with honesty, kindness and generosity. Except I don’t feel in love. (‘in the passionate or romantic sense”,although I have grown to love him…) I know the other person doesn’t determine your happiness or even feeling of love but why do I think thoughts that make me feel in love with a man who I am not with, and who I believe is bad for me? But finding it harder to love the man I am with.

I have chosen thoughts that say I dodged a bullet
I am with such a better choice
I will be with my soul mate some day
I will be in love again
I will be with a great partner for me
the future is going to be great
I can just let myself love the man I’m with
I will be with my beshert within this year
(this is a jewish word which is like the one who g-d created for you) I have a belief that says there is the one I know Brooke says the one is the one you decide is the one…..
but how can I find the one when I stay with a man I love but I don’t want my future with…..
These are upgraded quite a bit from the bitter angry ones I have felt

the truth is no matter how much I play with believing the other thoughts the one I wake up with and try to push away is
I love him
I miss him
I want him
I yearn for him

I would like to not have these thoughts because I’m not with him and so they feel bad.

I have worked with ok let yourself have the thoughts and you don’t need to act on the desire, which I have done and I have not been with him (even though) we generally have some communication each day.

I would love help in rectifying a love, I don’t act on but still yearn for. So I can move forward and let myself feel passionately in love again. That part came very very easy with him. Not so with the man I’m with now. it has been a struggle for me to want the man I’m with now even though he’s better to me.