Tween daughter

I would love some coaching on my thoughts around my tween daughter. Lately my sweet girl has turned into a huffy, eye-rolling, talking back, angry, annoyed pre-teen. I can see that hormonally she is approaching puberty and logically I understand that some of the mood and attitude differences can be attributed to that, but I notice that I don’t always respond in the way that I want to in the moment. For example, after picking her up early from school to take her to a doc appt, she barely says hello, gruffs at the warm lunch I brought her and then huffs and sighs loudly about the dance carpool situation I worked out for her that afternoon. I felt angry, unappreciated and sad. The way our relationship use to be was so different and it hurts that this seems to be the new phase we are in. I struggle with the concepts of having a manual for my daughter versus trying to raise a polite, respectful, grateful human being. How do manuals apply to children/parents? I feel like I need to have a manual/expectations of her as my child, but I also want her to feel accepted and supported through this transition from childhood into young adulthood. Thanks for any input!